2nd June 2006

ok here's what i wrote on fulscap while waiting for qing in the atrium just now.

here i am, in school.
at the atrium, waiting for qing.
hmmm.....
in a pretty confused state.
i dunno why.
thinking too much i guess.

something about last night that i didnt really mention.
on my way home, i almost got banged by a car.
cos i didnt notice it.
and to make matters worse, i stepped on a snail.
i killed an innocent snail.
and i dirtied my favourite pair of shoes.
usually i will focus on the ground cos i cant stand stepping on those poor snails that get crushed.
but last night, i was in deep deep thought.
thinking way too much.
i think the previous entry should be like ignored.
especially the first paragraph.
actually only the first paragraph.
i was being stupid.
being the oversensitive me.
as of always.
hmmm.. i wonder when i will kick the habit of being that oversensitive me.

i'm sitting in the atrium, thinking.
it was just a year ago when the previous batch of choir members had their farewell dinner and just yesterday we had ours.
to think that when i first entered MJ, i promised myself that i will not join choir again as i already had enough of it in coral.
but i passed the audition.
and i still remember when i passed the audition, gerald was the one who auditioned me.
and he asked me " will you consider joining choir?"
my immediate answer was no.
i was given a choice.
but between SLC and choir, i chose choir because i preferred performing.
for first 3 months i only went for the first few practices.
i tried my best to give myself excuses on why i should not turn up fro choir.
things like i dun feel like i belong there and also i had this feeling that my O level results wouldnt allow me to like stay in MJ.
but the results were released and i barely made it back to MJ.
and i decided that i should stay on it choir as there wasnt anything in particular that i wanted to join.
i was given the chance to participate in SYF.
despite my pathetic attendance.
i tried my best to attend all practices and stuff.
and i was pretty glad that we achieved a gold for SYF.
partly becos in coral, for both SYFs the choir only managed to clinch bronze.
and after the SYF was preparation for the concert, La Risonansa 2.
it was really fun, preparing for it.
but at that point of time, the thing that was always at the back of my mind was all the performances that i had in coral.
though few, they were memorable.
i kept comparing both choirs and i realised how different each one was.
anyway the concert was fantastic.
i had a wonderful time and it was like something totally new to me in a way.
only that i had constant flashbacks of coral choir and stuff.
and following the concert was the Voyage of Songs.
this competition sort of like opened a few doors for me.
not only did i get to see other different kinds of choirs, i also managed to make some friends.
lets put it this way, if it werent for the competition, i probably wont ever be so clse to them.
it was my first time joining a competition overseas.
even though it was just malaysia.
as usual practices were long and tiring.
but it paid off.
the results were great.
and i felt it was quite amazing considering the groups we comnpeted against.
and the thing is that i never regretted going.
and i thought i would.
ok to continue, this year we had La Risonansa 3.
we did songs for first half and sunset boulevard for the second half.
the practices were countless and long.
i had to listen to the endless complaints from my mummy and daddy for spending so much time in choir.
and for not studying enough at times.
but i guess it was all worth it.

just to digress a little, at this point of time when i was writing my entry on paper outside the LT, jonathan suddenly came to the table and sat there with me. i was in a state of shock. he started to talk to me. and he attempted to look at what i was doing. i told him i was doing some personal stuff but i guess he thot i was secretly mugging for MYE.

ok. this time during the concert i didnt really have thoughts about coral choir.
even though we did a short musical too during my last year there.
all that was in my mind wasthe practices that we had and how much effort everyone had put in during the past few months.
and there was this point of time when i felt that i was actually gonna miss the choir.
and to think that i never felt a sense of belonging to the choir.
i was gonna miss the people.
and also the practices.
when the concert ended, it was like WOW.
it was like finally over.
but why so soon?
i dunno why.
just within that short period of time so many things have changed.
and its kinda hard to believe that its all gonna be over.
or should i say its already over.
another chapter in my life closed.
now i can just say that i have no regrets joining MJchoir.
they have changed my impression of them.
the impression that i had when i first joined the choir.
and i should say that the members passion for singing really made the difference.
it was something that coral choir lacked and still lacks.
thank you MJchoir for making choir enjoyable!

ok thats the end of what i wrote.
ok let me talk about my day today.
hmmmm...
the only interesting thing that happened today was that i got back my econs international trade test.
guess wat?
i failed again.
as of always.
i predicted 5/30.
but i was lucky this time.
i got 6/30.
i amazed myself.
i should really start doing something bout it.
maybe i should find a tutor.
but then again i dun think anyone will be willing to teach me.
cos i think i'm quite hopeless.
at this point of time.

ok i think i may come and blog again later.
after studying and swimming.
hope it doesnt rain today.

i'm sorry for not blogging often.
so ya.
i'm trying.