walking in the rain made me think. too much. again. the memories just kept flowing in. hais. i should focus on something else in future. i so screwed up maths again. algebra was supposed to be one of my strongest besides curve sketching but i guess i just didnt put in enough thinking and i didnt practice! so quite wasted. couldnt even complete a single qns. as for that DE test, i was super careless, which is what i usually am, i drew the wrong graph just because i didnt see the y^2. argh! and i know how to draw y^2 graphs. i drew the y graph instead of y^2. the wonderful careless me. on tuesday, did this gp essay thing and ms huda said my paragraphs were too short for her liking, then i had to redo the entire thing all over again. so it evolved from like 4 paragraphs a page to 2 paragraphs a page kinda thing. i was amazed but i dun think i'll do well cos i sort of crapped my way thru and it really wasnt a qns that i would ever attempt. the qns was "The most worthwhile job is the one with the least financial gain. Do u agree?" i only do family qns and sometimes mass media. maybe thats why i always do so badly. cos i only choose those qns that majority of the popn does. its just me.
went back to coral today. supposedly to talk to val but didnt really talk much. but then again it was fun. they were doing stuff for national day celebrations. they did this movements for the song " reach out for the skies" or something and val or joey said i taught them that last year but i have seriously no memory on how to do the movements for that song. shows how well my memory is functioning. it was only last year and i rmb teaching them. haha. sometimes i really amaze myself.
i'm doing ultimate frisbee for PE. its really fun. esp with jon jon on the opposing team. haha. he's tall and he'll purposely throw the frisbee above me but that isnt the point. its the way he reacts that it really amusing. one of the reasons why i actually enjoy PE in the hot blazing sun and the muddy field. haha.
okies pizza party on 10th Aug rite? i'm so looking forward to it. to val and QX: all the best for choir auditions (: quite glad that u guys are going for auditions actually. i'll meet u on that day ya!
and as for the anonymous person, i think u should really stop showering people with those horrible remarks. it just makes u sound really pathetic. it makes me feel that u are screwing up people's lives becos ur life is super screwed up and u cant do anything bout ur own life. so pls just stop ur nonsense and move on with ur life.
to those who are feeling affected by him/her/it, pls dun let him/her/it ruin ur day (: smiles!
***sometimes i just wanna noe how u're feeling inside. i really wonder if u ever read my blabberings. just wondering.***
Friday, July 28, 2006
Sunday, July 23, 2006
23rd July 2006
had a great time yest. though it was kinda chaotic. but it was alrite. the talk with miss lai though was pretty scary to me. she kept going on about how quiet i was and i should be more proactive and ask more questions and ask for consultations. but she just cant understand that i really really dun like to go for consultations. its just me. again. its always me. and to make matters worse, i met miss huda on my way out. with my daddy. and he started talking to her and she went on and on about how quiet i am in class and agreeing with miss lai that i should go for consultations. anyway i have a reason to go shopping. but that will be after the As i guess cos i have some shopping voucher from takashimaya. i dunno wat to buy from there actually. i just wanna shop. haha.
it's been so long that i've forgotten how it feels like to fall in love
it's been so long that i've forgotten how it feels like to fall in love
Friday, July 21, 2006
a great day i guess. i couldnt ask for anything more. a simple day spent with the ones i really care for. thats what i really want. the simple stuff for the really simple me. went to school and received stuff from j.hui, xingquan and my class 05a104 and from isabelle and pig tail. thanks guys i really appreciate it (: after school we had chocolate cake bought by miss huda. and i was trying my very best to cut the cake in a proper manner but i think it turned out to be in irregular pieces. luckily no one complained i guess. went to bugis later in the afternoon with lappie first then izyan joined us. bought stickers for my phone and bought a sock for my phone and bought earrings! haha. really really enjoyed myself. thanks lappie and izyan. after that went for dinner with my family at the SIA sports club and i finally can go into that jackpot room. i stared at my mummy while she was playing and i was trying to understand the game but i really couldnt and i felt giddy after staring at the screen. and now i'm home. feeling really tired.
u came in as silently as u left.
u came in as silently as u left.
21st July 2006
a great day i guess. i couldnt ask for anything more. a simple day spent with the ones i really care for. thats what i really want. the simple stuff for the really simple me. went to school and received stuff from j.hui, xingquan and my class 05a104 and from isabelle and pig tail. thanks guys i really appreciate it (: after school we had chocolate cake bought by miss huda. and i was trying my very best to cut the cake in a proper manner but i think it turned out to be in irregular pieces. luckily no one complained i guess. went to bugis later in the afternoon with lappie first then izyan joined us. bought stickers for my phone and bought a sock for my phone and bought earrings! haha. really really enjoyed myself. thanks lappie and izyan. after that went for dinner with my family at the SIA sports club and i finally can go into that jackpot room. i stared at my mummy while she was playing and i was trying to understand the game but i really couldnt and i felt giddy after staring at the screen. and now i'm home. feeling really tired.
u came in as silently as u left.
u came in as silently as u left.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
18th July 2006
My Friendster Horoscope for Today
The Bottom Line
Get ready to find new insights toward a particularly confusing work situation now.
In Detail
Your work or school environment has been interesting (but also a bit challenging) lately, but that changes today. You discover a few new insights on the motivation behind the odd actions of others. There are things you never knew before, things that should clear everything up and things that give you a sneak peak about what could be coming next. This advance information will prepare you for an opportunity you've been waiting for.
its interesting how true these things can be.
i'll be back to blog about this when i have the mood to.
The Bottom Line
Get ready to find new insights toward a particularly confusing work situation now.
In Detail
Your work or school environment has been interesting (but also a bit challenging) lately, but that changes today. You discover a few new insights on the motivation behind the odd actions of others. There are things you never knew before, things that should clear everything up and things that give you a sneak peak about what could be coming next. This advance information will prepare you for an opportunity you've been waiting for.
its interesting how true these things can be.
i'll be back to blog about this when i have the mood to.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
14th July 2006
have i ever mentioned that sometimes i hate myself for expecting too much from myself ?
it sounds like a really dumb thing to do. it seems that the more i push myself, the more disappointed i get if i fail in whatever i'm doing. i'm some sort of a perfectionist i guess. i have that feeling of dissatisfaction when what i had in mind doesnt happen when i really expect it to. i'm so screwed up. sometimes i really cant stand myself.
it sounds like a really dumb thing to do. it seems that the more i push myself, the more disappointed i get if i fail in whatever i'm doing. i'm some sort of a perfectionist i guess. i have that feeling of dissatisfaction when what i had in mind doesnt happen when i really expect it to. i'm so screwed up. sometimes i really cant stand myself.
Friday, July 14, 2006
14th July 2006
this week has been an eventful one i guess. it's a really bad week for me. results came back and i actually predicted correctly what i would get. F for everything. geography, maths and econs. i really dun understand why i got those grades given the fact that i studied really really hard for it. its the worst results ever. but i have to forget this and move on. somehow its hard but i'll have to try. i guess.
do u ever get the feeling that sometimes its really wrong to express your own feelings? i feel that way. somehow it just makes me feel that its wrong to show that u are really really sad inside cos it will just affect the people around u. i really dunno how to say it but i hope it sounds the way that i wanted it to sound like.
my body has been aching like mad since tuesday. after monday's PE. monday i played badminton with lappie and tuesday i woke up to realise that my right arm muscle hurt. and to make matters worse, my ankle started giving me problems too. maybe i'm too heavy or something but i hope it isnt so. maybe its just the stupid ankle that is wrong somewhere. then there was this occassional cough and the sudden loss of taste. i couldnt taste the taste of the soup my mummy made. and she says there's something wrong with me. but i dun agree with her. ok then there was thursday's PE. apparently we were late for lesson and we had to do so many push ups. and my arms now feel like they are not attached to my shoulders. and today i dragged myself around school, walking at a really slow pace. then there was the TB skin test thing. i really dun understand why some said that it isnt painful cos it was painful. it reminded me why i was afraid of injections. after that went home and just fell asleep on my comfy bed. until qing woke me up to go for a swim. it was awfully cold and i couldnt really swim properly becos of my aching arms. so i just soaked up the coldness of the water for like that one hour or so.
i went to whitesands to meet val, QX, yongkit and ah meng( i really dunno his real name and i have been calling him that ever since he entered coral). anyway ah meng decided to do something really racist and he got confronted by one particular indian guy who seemed to have had a really bad day cos he was really fierce. i shall not blog much about it. apparently val and QX have had a bad week too and they were constantly talking bout the bad times and i was constantly trying to understand what they were trying to say and which situation they were talking about. it was fun though. took a bus home with QX and she talked alot as of always and she has really matured in her thinking! the situations in which she has got herself into has really made her change for the better i assume. but she's different. really different. as for val, besides her haircut, nth mauch ahs changed rite =p haha thats the way i will always remember her as, the one who always talks openly about how she feels. haha.
next week is gonna be as eventful as this week i guess. 20th july would be my class time with miss lai and i assume that on the 22nd there will be the meet the parents thing. it'll be interesting i guess. given the fact that about 9 ppl have the same results as me.
i have been studying in school for mos tof the days this week and its really tiring though i cant really say that i've studied alot during that time. i feel super duper tired whenever i go home and things that happen at home can really agitate me so i try my very best to control my temper and stuff but sometimes it seems totally impossible. and i also try to get as much sleep as i can get cos my eyebags i feel are getting worse. but it doesnt really matter to me now.
the things that lie beyond that smile.
do u ever get the feeling that sometimes its really wrong to express your own feelings? i feel that way. somehow it just makes me feel that its wrong to show that u are really really sad inside cos it will just affect the people around u. i really dunno how to say it but i hope it sounds the way that i wanted it to sound like.
my body has been aching like mad since tuesday. after monday's PE. monday i played badminton with lappie and tuesday i woke up to realise that my right arm muscle hurt. and to make matters worse, my ankle started giving me problems too. maybe i'm too heavy or something but i hope it isnt so. maybe its just the stupid ankle that is wrong somewhere. then there was this occassional cough and the sudden loss of taste. i couldnt taste the taste of the soup my mummy made. and she says there's something wrong with me. but i dun agree with her. ok then there was thursday's PE. apparently we were late for lesson and we had to do so many push ups. and my arms now feel like they are not attached to my shoulders. and today i dragged myself around school, walking at a really slow pace. then there was the TB skin test thing. i really dun understand why some said that it isnt painful cos it was painful. it reminded me why i was afraid of injections. after that went home and just fell asleep on my comfy bed. until qing woke me up to go for a swim. it was awfully cold and i couldnt really swim properly becos of my aching arms. so i just soaked up the coldness of the water for like that one hour or so.
i went to whitesands to meet val, QX, yongkit and ah meng( i really dunno his real name and i have been calling him that ever since he entered coral). anyway ah meng decided to do something really racist and he got confronted by one particular indian guy who seemed to have had a really bad day cos he was really fierce. i shall not blog much about it. apparently val and QX have had a bad week too and they were constantly talking bout the bad times and i was constantly trying to understand what they were trying to say and which situation they were talking about. it was fun though. took a bus home with QX and she talked alot as of always and she has really matured in her thinking! the situations in which she has got herself into has really made her change for the better i assume. but she's different. really different. as for val, besides her haircut, nth mauch ahs changed rite =p haha thats the way i will always remember her as, the one who always talks openly about how she feels. haha.
next week is gonna be as eventful as this week i guess. 20th july would be my class time with miss lai and i assume that on the 22nd there will be the meet the parents thing. it'll be interesting i guess. given the fact that about 9 ppl have the same results as me.
i have been studying in school for mos tof the days this week and its really tiring though i cant really say that i've studied alot during that time. i feel super duper tired whenever i go home and things that happen at home can really agitate me so i try my very best to control my temper and stuff but sometimes it seems totally impossible. and i also try to get as much sleep as i can get cos my eyebags i feel are getting worse. but it doesnt really matter to me now.
the things that lie beyond that smile.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
11th July 2006
i'm going to get so many Fs. i failed my gp essay. i failed my gp compre. i failed my econs mcq. i failed my econs essay. the probability of passing maths is like impossible. geog is even worse. i'm a huge failure! my report card is just gonna show 1 C6 and 3Fs. so i asked my dad to make himself free on 22nd july so that he can go see either my CT or miss lai. my life is so horrible. i'm seriously hopeless. i need so much help. i studied. it doesnt show, does it? stupid. thats me. really stupid. but i have to move on and do well for everything. the probability of doing well is once again really small.
i'll be studying. less sleep. less TV. less social life. then again what social life do i have? ok just less of everything. study study study. hope it'll work.
i wont blog that often anymore i guess.
i'll be studying. less sleep. less TV. less social life. then again what social life do i have? ok just less of everything. study study study. hope it'll work.
i wont blog that often anymore i guess.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
9th July 2006
its one of those days when i cant stop thinking. sometimes i wish val could be here to lecture me to stop thinking. val see how impt u are =p
something that i'm supposed to forget. so as to move on. but it keeps coming but. not frequently though. just occassionally. why does it happen this way? why cant u get out of my mind? why cant i stop thinking? why? maybe i should find something else to think about. maybe that would solve the problem. i hope it will. so the next thing is that wat else can i think about? nothing seems nice to think about. all the nice things i think about seem to be really unrealistic and it feels like some kind of fantasy. one thought leads to another. and another thought leads to so many more thoughts. this is really irritating.
something that i'm supposed to forget. so as to move on. but it keeps coming but. not frequently though. just occassionally. why does it happen this way? why cant u get out of my mind? why cant i stop thinking? why? maybe i should find something else to think about. maybe that would solve the problem. i hope it will. so the next thing is that wat else can i think about? nothing seems nice to think about. all the nice things i think about seem to be really unrealistic and it feels like some kind of fantasy. one thought leads to another. and another thought leads to so many more thoughts. this is really irritating.
9th July 2006
went out yest. with whole family+qingqing. went to orchard to shop. and then went for qingqing's recital thing and then went for dinner. woke up at 8 to study on saturday and i did the MYE 2006 maths paper 1 all over again until qns 8 and i could do most of it. its so frustrating! it always happens. hais. my daddy says i'm fat and need to exercise more. hais. i suggested to him that i might be staying in school to study after school. i slept thru the most of today. then just before we went for dinner he says that i really need to study more in school so i will sleep less and study more.
thursday during maths, miss lai came and started talking about results. maths results. then thursday miss wong talked about econs studying and stuff. guess really will have to study and study. sacrifices will be made and a miracle should be created. no, a miracle must be created to save me.
mugging starts tomorrow. anyone wanna join me? =p
thursday during maths, miss lai came and started talking about results. maths results. then thursday miss wong talked about econs studying and stuff. guess really will have to study and study. sacrifices will be made and a miracle should be created. no, a miracle must be created to save me.
mugging starts tomorrow. anyone wanna join me? =p
Friday, July 07, 2006
7th July 2006
just had a very fulfilling dinner though i didnt have much appetite. my appetite seems to have disappeared since last week. its scary somehow. but then again its just me.
lets me talk about thursday. in the morning, the clouds were beautiful though i felt as if they were about to fall onto me. but it was an unusual sight i guess. its because of the monsoon winds as i have learnt today. then there was GP and we received our essay back. i din do well. i expected it. apparently i did a wrong structure for my essay and got penalised for it. then there was maths lecture. they started on some differential equation thing. i know nothing. and i got cut by paper. horrible. then econs there was this test. i din complete it. as of always.
i shalll continue another time with this entry =p
lets me talk about thursday. in the morning, the clouds were beautiful though i felt as if they were about to fall onto me. but it was an unusual sight i guess. its because of the monsoon winds as i have learnt today. then there was GP and we received our essay back. i din do well. i expected it. apparently i did a wrong structure for my essay and got penalised for it. then there was maths lecture. they started on some differential equation thing. i know nothing. and i got cut by paper. horrible. then econs there was this test. i din complete it. as of always.
i shalll continue another time with this entry =p
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
4th July 2006
ok i'm finally in the mood to blog.
mid years are finally over! now the "best" thing is waiting for the results. well i hope for the best. maths was bad today. horribly irritating paper. its over. no more talking bout the past.
anyway i've just finished reading another danielle steel book titled "second chance". its a story bout giving people a second chance to prove themselves. the story started with fiona who was a editor for a popular magazine. she met this guy john who was really nice and tried to do all he could to win her heart and stuff. fiona was afraid of marriage and stuff cos of her past, her parents. but she got persuaded by john to get married. after they made the commitment, both of them were too busy with their own lives that they hardly saw each other. and john who promised that he wouldnt leave her for anything, filed for a divorce. after the divorce both people lived separate lives and tried to forget bout each other. and one year and a half passed and they met each other unknowingly. and they fell in love again. fiona was unwilling to forgive john but john wanted the second chance from her. in the end, he managed to persuade her and he got his second chance. and the story ends.
sometimes i wonder if second chances are beneficial to everyone. what if a second chance was given and a third chance is needed? do we continue to give these chances? or do we live on and forget about the past and move on to the present and the future, with the hurt that continuously stays there? too many chances leads to the problem of taking things for granted. whats the point of giving people the chance when they dun ever cherish them. another thing to ponder about. i liked the story though. i love her stories.
i'm going to the library tomorrow. yay. i shall read as many books as i can within this week. and next week onwards i shall fully focus on doing well for A levels. since the 9 o'clock show on channel 8 will be ending. and there will be no shows to distract me except for the few like desperate housewives, project runway, charmed. thats about it i guess. i watched the finale of the final season of charmed. it has such a lovely ending. but i missed so much of the middle episodes which were shown on starworld so i shall try to catch them on channel 5.
i'm bored. hais. no books to read. no studying. haha i'm bored.
ok i shall stop here. to everyone: take care.
especially for val: do ur best no matter wat others might say, i'm always here supporting u (: cheers!
mid years are finally over! now the "best" thing is waiting for the results. well i hope for the best. maths was bad today. horribly irritating paper. its over. no more talking bout the past.
anyway i've just finished reading another danielle steel book titled "second chance". its a story bout giving people a second chance to prove themselves. the story started with fiona who was a editor for a popular magazine. she met this guy john who was really nice and tried to do all he could to win her heart and stuff. fiona was afraid of marriage and stuff cos of her past, her parents. but she got persuaded by john to get married. after they made the commitment, both of them were too busy with their own lives that they hardly saw each other. and john who promised that he wouldnt leave her for anything, filed for a divorce. after the divorce both people lived separate lives and tried to forget bout each other. and one year and a half passed and they met each other unknowingly. and they fell in love again. fiona was unwilling to forgive john but john wanted the second chance from her. in the end, he managed to persuade her and he got his second chance. and the story ends.
sometimes i wonder if second chances are beneficial to everyone. what if a second chance was given and a third chance is needed? do we continue to give these chances? or do we live on and forget about the past and move on to the present and the future, with the hurt that continuously stays there? too many chances leads to the problem of taking things for granted. whats the point of giving people the chance when they dun ever cherish them. another thing to ponder about. i liked the story though. i love her stories.
i'm going to the library tomorrow. yay. i shall read as many books as i can within this week. and next week onwards i shall fully focus on doing well for A levels. since the 9 o'clock show on channel 8 will be ending. and there will be no shows to distract me except for the few like desperate housewives, project runway, charmed. thats about it i guess. i watched the finale of the final season of charmed. it has such a lovely ending. but i missed so much of the middle episodes which were shown on starworld so i shall try to catch them on channel 5.
i'm bored. hais. no books to read. no studying. haha i'm bored.
ok i shall stop here. to everyone: take care.
especially for val: do ur best no matter wat others might say, i'm always here supporting u (: cheers!
Monday, July 03, 2006
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